As part of his preparation for deployment, my husband left today for JRTC (Joint Readiness Training Center) in Fort Polk, Louisiana. He will stay there for one month.
Although I planned to miss him a ton, I did not stress too much over the upcoming absence. After all.. I have endured more than a month away from the man that I love (Basic Training, AIT). During our previous separations, I experienced a lot of heartache, but I also found myself enjoying my independence; spending time reflecting on my life and doing whatever I want. We all need a little "me me me" time now and then.
So it came as somewhat of a surprise after we parted ways this morning and I found myself crying all the way to work.
I don't want to sound co-dependent. I have always enjoyed being alone, and I have plenty to do to keep me entertained; I work more than 30 hours a week and I am a full time (online) writing student. I also freelance for Patch and try to get my lazy bum into the gym or on a jog with my dog most days. I was single for my entire life before I got married.. I know how to enjoy myself.
But you see, he's not just my husband. *cheese alert* He is my best friend. I know, I know.... a lot of couples say that. But I really mean it. Military life changes a couple. You become so attached when you uproot your life and start a new one wherever the Army tells you to. When you relocate thousands of miles away from your family and friends, your spouse becomes your home.
So when he's not here, my home is just a house, and the loneliness is crippling. The silence is deafening. The lack of motivation skyrockets. Suddenly, I'm ignoring my homework assignments in favor of a I Shouldn't Have Survived marathon. And what's the point of showering or shaving your legs when nobody you want to smell you is gonna smell you?
Mind you, it has hardly been a day. I'm going to look like a hobo by the end of this.
If it weren't for my adorable American Bulldog/Pitbull Deuce, I'd be hopeless. So I'm off to take him for a walk before I turn into a blob on the couch.
And I guess it is time to create some goals for the upcoming lonely weeks.